Verizon Ripped me off!!

Verizon Ripped me off!!

I was about to rip Verizon a new “V-hole” so to speak, but my virtuous patience won the day and after being transferred around to five different phone-talkers, (as I know not their official titles), I attained satisfaction, thus the company remains unorificed!

Here’s my story: With the introductions of cell phones the concept of long distance is pretty much null and void. With this in mind, I cancelled long distance on my home phone, which I hardly even answer these days thanks to caller ID. Back in 04 Verizon put me in a plan where I’d only be charged long distance if I made long distance calls, which made perfect sense to me, so I went for it.

Last September, Verizon, probably realizing that people aren’t making long distance calls from their homes added a “shortfall” fee to that program. “Shortfall” is one of those quasi-benign words like “stop-loss” that companies and the government use but don’t define for us until we’re already caught up in it. For those who don’t know what “stop-loss” is, it’s when the government extends a soldier’s military obligation beyond the agreed upon contract so they don’t lose soldiers, (to discharges, etc. It’s apparently okay to lose soldiers to roadside bombings and ambushes, but that’s another issue.)

Verizon’s shortfall fee comes down to changing customers for NOT making long distance calls! You read correctly friends.

The customer service rep put it to me anything but succinctly; “It’s like, say you made $1.65 worth of long distance calls, that fee would be 50 cents.”

“So basically,” I say to her – calmly mind you, “Your company is charging me for NOT making long distance charges.”

Go ahead, tell me I’m right. I know I’m right!! I get transferred to customer service, where I am equally as polite, however I think the rep can hear the “I-can’t-freekin’-believe-the-freekin’-balls-on-this-company!” frustration rising in my voice.

What I want is the five months of being charged for NOT MAKING LONG DISTANCE CALLS, credited to my account. She doesn’t know that she’s going to be able to do that, she tells me, yet I remain calm. (There are phone/cable companies dying for my business, I think to myself. Are they gonna lose this contract over $10.00?)

My pleasant and helpful, (I understand that people respond in kind, so I get myself in a Zen type mood before I make these phone calls. Belligerent customers who attack CSRs don’t get anywhere. ) customer service rep explains to me that I was grandfathered into the program where by I am charged for NOT making LONG DISTANCE CALLS. Plus, she sees in my data, that I have an LD RESTRICTION on my phone – so even if I (or someone living with me; long, complex story from the past) wanted to make a long distance call, they couldn’t.

For a minute I wasn’t going to post this because the CSRs were so nice and I got what I wanted – but then I decided that it’s not about them, it’s some corporate bullshyt to boost their income and profit margin. Take that $2.15 a month for a service that’s not being provided or used and multiply it by all the customers that aren’t using it. That’s money for nothing and your chicks for free. It’s not as if Verizon doesn’t have a wireless program that’s keeping people from using the long distance on their home phones.

This is why CEOs who all but ruin companies can “retire” with hundred-million dollar severance packages. So if you have Verizon and you’re not using their long distance; check your bill. Heck, check your bills anyway, when you see some mumbo-jumbo double-speak charge on their like short-fall, it equals a windfall for the company, get on the phone and challenge them.

Suckers!!!