Bajai Kulture 9.2:05

Bajai Kulture 9.2:05

The Roar of the Crowd
by KC Bajai

Somewhere in an old photo album, possibly in the possession of my mother, is a picture of me in my stage debut. The second grade Thanksgiving play. I think they made me a pilgrim. While everyone else is in some kind of period costume, I'm up there wearing standard issue second grader glasses, a turtleneck shirt and striped pants... forgetting my lines. If it weren't for that picture i would have probably blanked out the whole event, vehemently denying it until publicly unlocking the memory in a gush of tears on some afternoon talk show.

All I remember about how I got into this situation, is one of the teachers asking for volunteers.

I was standing in line waiting for whatever second graders lined up for back then. (This is when lines were called lines and not "queues.") And one of the teachers came out and said something like, "I need a volunteer." Cleverly I thought to myself - and yes i still remember this part - if i raise my hand nonchalantly I'll get picked. And it worked! I got picked, for the second grade Thanksgiving Play! More cleverly the teacher did not announce what we were volunteering for. Despite this unexpected turn, I volunteered several more times throughout my life until I finally learned my lesson after being discharged from the NAVY - which itself stands for Never Again Volunteer Yourself.

UGH!!

The first few years of my life i was a cute and happy baby. Those pictures are precious. My dad always seemed to photograph me smiling and laughing. Then I grew into a nerd. I didn't know I was a nerd, I didn't even know the word existed. I did know however, that I was different from most everybody else around me, or maybe i just felt different. Like I wasn't supposed to be there... but that's another story.

In any case, there would be no more plays, and no more performing on stage for me. With the exception of a few fashion shows in which I strutted my stuff on the catwalk... meeeOWWW! I kept myself off stage and in the background for many, many years, probably until I started producing and organizing variety shows for the magazine i started (once again, another story.)

If you were to take any of my group fitness classes you'd never in a million years believe the shy kid I was... or maybe you would. I've read in books written by egg-heads that we often mature into the opposite of what we were as children. In fact, I've done such a good job of reinventing (and subsequently liking) myself people have wondered if I'm Narcissistic. They've made me wonder that very same thing only to discover that the opposite is closer to the truth. Sometimes when we try to reach a goal, to affect changes to ourselves we tend to over compensate ~ to over shoot the mark. We have to zero in on the target. Maybe my, at times, bombastic personality is like shooting an air ball from half court only to have the ball go clear over the backboard. I'm zeroing in on my personality target.

I'm getting closer and closer every time i step in front of an audience. That audience is the handful to over 50, at times ~ mostly college students ~ who come to my group fitness classes. I'm not sure this character actually exists, but I feel like a cross between a college professor, a personal trainer and stand up comedian when I'm leading a class. I feel highly confident, I don't take myself too seriously, I explain what muscles the exercises are working and i even tell the occasional (bad) joke, make a (bad) pun, use sound effects and I've even been known to bark and/or growl, encouraging the class to do the same.

I suppose it's a bit different than most aerobics teachers' techniques, many of whom yell, count every move (that would drive me crazy) and sometimes worry too much about how they look doing the moves. My guess is aerobics teachers learn from other aerobics teachers and copy their techniques and choreography. But since I've never taken aerobics classes I come with a different style. (That style could be called Ignorance.)

In many respects I approach group fitness as if it's stand up, part monologue, part lecture, dynamic motivation and encouragement as if I'm rooting for my children telling them, they can do it! (They'd better do it!) I've coaxed push ups out of women who've never done them in their lives. A woman who comes to one of my classes just turned 70 and she's knocking out push ups like Rocky Balboa! (Second appearance for this story.)

Honestly, I get such a rush out of leading these classes i can't tell whether that rush is from being the center of attention or from the exercises. (Shhhh, maybe a little bit of both.) I think that rush spills over into the audience too. I can see that they are getting a good workout and i try to make sure everyone is safe too; not working too hard, etc.

I "opened" at SJU a while back to a very appreciative audience. They hadn't heard any of my jokes or wise cracks yet, the ones I've tested on Temple & USP; they hadn't done french fries either ~ french fries is a hit record!

Ha, that second grade Thanksgiving play still messes with my psyche. My nerd years in West Philly, my maturation in Overbrook Park and my birth of cool in Center City, I think about them and smile. I've left those days behind me and continue to evolve, but all those little parts of me are still inside. I wasn't such a big hit on the elementary school stage, but I've decided that stage was far too small for me. I'm performing on the life stage these days, two shows at Temple Mondays and Tuesdays, with matinees those days at the YMCA and 12th Street Gym; a single show Wednesdays at USP and two shows on Thursdays at SJU and 12th. Sometimes I get a round of applause at the end of the class and I blush - still, what i really enjoy is the laughter when I make historical references to torture and/or slasher flicks.

An educated group is my best audience.

PS: Between the time I wrote this and the time I posted it, I apparently offended a "customer" with one of my action anecdotes. While the rest of the customers were cracking up when i hit them with the punch line, one put her stuff down and walked out. I knew I'd hear about it and i did. I also knew I'd write about it, and I did... here it is... another hit record.

Bajai Fitness: #22109

Bajai Fitness: #22109

by KC Bajai CPT (Fitness Nerd)

This was actually written for my students/clients but my friends can probably benefit from this info as well...

There are three things people notice right away when they come to one of my GX Classes, 1) I'm a smart ass - I don't, and can't deny it, 2) I talk a lot. I'm not just there counting our reps, I'm telling you why we do what we do. 3) I'm a badass!! I believe in pushing the body beyond what YOU think it can do. You think you can't do push ups I say try. A lady in one of my classes was cranking out push ups on her 70th birthday... NO KNEES!!!

What you might not immediately figure out is that I care about your health and fitness. I'll give you all the information and resources I can think of to help you achieve your goals. Just because i do it in a smart-ass style, doesn't mean I don't care. You might also miss the fact that I'm a fitness nerd - my face is buried in books about weight training, martial arts, aerobics, nutrition, fads and trends. While you're downloading music, I'm downloading fitness videos. I stay up late at night watching fitness informercials and trying to figure out how the exercises done on these gadgets can be adapted to the class. I literally dream about fun and functional ways to lead a class that will not just educate you, but entertain you as well.

With this in mind, here's the latest (first of this year) essue of Bajai Fitness.
Most of what's in this "blog" I've been espousing to classes since i started, this time I've pulled some clips from an issue of On Fitness Magazine (www.onfitnessmag.com).

K-C Told you so....

The Back!!
1. The Latissimus dorsi are the biggest upper body muscles! This is why we worth them before we work the chest. These muscles are help us achieve that V shape that's so appealing.

Spot (Fat) Reduction
2. You can't spot reduce... but, the closest thing to it is, pounding your thighs and butt during a strenuous workout! when you do this the muscles will feed off of the nearest source of fat for energy. Fat is stored in two places primarily, between the skin and muscles. Hill running, high stepping, jumping & lifting creates an immediate need for energy - it will grab the fat that's "on location." When you burn fat this way, your legs will become tighter and trimmer!

Cortisol the Stress Hormone can help Burn Fat
3. The same hormone, cortisol, that promotes fat storage in the abdominal area, can help burn fat when combined with HGH, testosterone & adrenaline. These hormones synergistically work with cortisol to encourage fat-burning, NOT FAT STORAGE! This is why we keep the intensity levels high. This is why we do intervals in abs class!

Breast Enhancement & Exercise
4. Gyms have abs and butt classes, leg-specific classes, but I've yet to see an exercise class called Breasts and Busts! This is such a sensitive area (particularly in terms of body image) that no one wants to tackle it, so I sneak it into classes in a uncharacteristically PC way, for me anyway... but here's some important info for you, "Bench pressing will not bulk up a woman. a woman will have more uplifted breasts from chest workouts, along with firmer, trimmer and more attractive shoulders." So let's stop using the "I don't want to look like a line backer" excuse when I encourage you to bench or do push ups. One day a week of chest exercises will make you both more attractive and more confident - it will also make you stronger & better able to repel the unwanted advances your new look will attract.

OK... this is all you get this month. Digest it and hyperactivate it. Make this a part of your life style.
Remember my classes are about "SPACERB"

Strength
Power
Agility
Coordination
Endurance
Reflexes/Reaction Time
Balance

Last question - Should I bother making a Fan Page on Facebook???

PS I made the page anyway... it's under "Bajai Fitness"

What It's Like for a Girl

Bajai Kulture 9.2:04

What It's Like for a Girl
by K-C Bajai

From 1995 to about 1997 I became an honorary lesbian. Certainly by now we've all heard or maybe even used the "lesbian trapped in a man's body" bit. Back then it was new (at least newer than it is now.) I hung out and became friends with and observed and listened to the girls. This experience cemented the idea in my head that there is always a dominant and submissive member of every relationship. I also realized that female/female relationships can and often are just as abusive as male/female relationships. The personalities and attitudes are the same, only the anatomy is different. This isn't to negate the positive aspects of same sex relationships, it simply emphasizes that grass is just as green (or brown) on both sides of the proverbial fence.

While I was in my honorary lesbian phase (I've since learned that there's no resigning such an honor) I seem to have tapped into to my Yin - my feminine side. Now boys, don't go thinking you've got a chickie-boy over on your side of the fence to play with. Don't confuse gentleness for homosexuality. I still love the ladies. I'm not trying to screw my bolts into other bolts. Nonetheless, as I've tapped into a more sensitive part of my psyche, women have responded, in good ways and at times, in ways that have made me uncomfortable.

"How does it feel," one female friend of mine responded when i confided to her about an unwanted kiss. She had obviously been slipped an unwanted tongue a time or two when a cheek was offered too.

I have no problem with sexual tension karma coming my way - not even when it comes from men, I feel after my years of exploits I deserve it. Attention from (possibly) gay men is almost as big a complement as attention from women, hetero- or lesbian. I'm most likely to follow up with the latter - sorry guys, you can look, I'm flattered, but no touching.

So here's the story that all this background has led up to.

A short time ago in one of the gyms where I work, (I probably don't even need to name the place). I was about to hop into the shower. A guy was about to do the same across the aisle. We exchanged cordial words. Despite my penchant for innuendo and double entendres I wasn't sending out such word play - unless - I did say something about hoping not to have to take a cold shower. Uh oh!!

Anyway, I jump into my shower stall and pull the curtain, and shower.

When I'm done I open the curtain to find Mr. Tom peeping at me from his shower stall. He hadn't pulled the curtain all the way. I grabbed my towel and shut my curtain again and dried off. Then I wrapped the towel around me and walked back to my locker.

I was in serious relaxation mode. I had plenty of time before I needed to be anywhere so i wasn't moving very fast. I won't bore you with the details, this isn't a novel and I'm not being paid by the word.

Sitting on the bench separating my sweaty clothes from the clean ones I heard the rustle of a trash can liner, followed by some banging of the trash can. I looked up and over my shoulder and who do you think I see looking at me? That's right, Tom the peeping shower stalker. In a blink I could tell that he'd been standing there for a moment and when i looked his way (I didn't even look AT him, I was looking to see who was making that racket) he moved away as if he'd been caught with his fingers up his nose.

If a female were telling me this story I'd give the alleged stalker the benefit of the doubt; "well maybe he, this" or, "maybe he that," I'd say... and in the back of my mind I'm just thinking it's a series of coincidences. But maybe they're not. My senses have been honed in bad neighborhoods, military training, night clubs and various situations where erring on the side of caution is preferable to being caught with my pants down. Plus, it makes for a good story.

Like I say, I certainly don't mind being looked at. I've done my share of looking, leering, gauking, oogling. Sure, it's my artistic eye, my appreciation for beauty, my heterosexuality - I'm not trying to scare, anger or threaten the women I look at and I'm sure Mr. Peepers wasn't trying to rattle my ire either. Perhaps he liked what he saw and wanted to see more.

Hubba hubba.

So when Madonna sings, "Do you know what it's like for a girl?" My answer is still unequivically NO! But i have an idea, so i try to keep my dog on its leash. It's a balancing act between expressing a physical attraction, appreciation for beauty, biological desires, and the need to let you (her) know that I'm not going to hurt you.