Bajai Kulture 9.3.04
Tales of Tea & Crunches
by KC Bajai
In none of my many online profiles or self summaries do I describe myself as "whimsical." I don't think of myself as a whimsical person. I don't do whimsical things... unless... you count starting a magazine because I thought it would be cool, or deciding to do 2000 crunches a day just to see what would happen. Okay, I admit it, there may have been some other whims in my past. I may even have become a personal trainer on a whim... nah, that was more practical.
Which brings me to the other fish in the Pisces circle, the practical one. I had a practical reason for becoming a fitness professional and I also have a practical reason for quitting the daily, sometimes twice or thrice daily consumption of tea.
For the past week my Facebook status has included two curious items; the number of crunches (also known as torso curls for those of you not into fitness jargon) and the number of days I've gone without a cup of tea. Curious because these two items have been the subject of a bevy of questions ranging from evaluations of my sanity (for which sometimes i cannot even vouch) to straight forward inquiries as to "why no tea." The later being quite understandable, as these questions have come from people I've shared many cups of tea with.
But first, let me indulge my whimsical side and allow you a peek into how my mind works. Take the children out of the room, I'd hate for you to blame me for anything they might pick up by reading over your shoulder.
As a fitness professional my longest running class (continuously since May of 2007 with the exception of regular breaks) has been the "Awesome Abs" class at Temple University. I've gotten pretty good at motivating and entertaining the students who come for an abs experience. Not only have I come up with memorable names for everyday abdominals exercises, I also tend to use humurous (to me anyway) imagery and scenarios that at times elicit reports to the coordinator. While my "audience" is stretching I give them tidbits of information and/or test their attitudes towards fitness fact vs. myth.
On one particular day, I asked the class if anyone still believed that doing nothing but crunches would reduce the fat around their midsection. Almost no one raised their hands. This is when I told them, "You could do 2000 crunches a day and unless you do a cardio workout, no one will ever see the results." I further told them that if they had a fat gut, the muscles under the fat would get big and make the stomach look even bigger. [*I put this in just in case any of you reading are doing crunches alone in hopes of achieving the six pack abs rack.]
This is the moment that I wondered what the results would be if I did 2000 crunches a day. Of course I would have to document everything, because I also have this nerdy side. To make an already long essay not as long as it could be, let me assure you that the body does and will adapt to what you do to it. The first day I never even made it to 2000. The last day I did crunches (3-9-09) I got the first 1000 done in 3 (non-even) sets. The final 1000 came in 4 sets which included a single set of 500. I don't have to tell you this is time consuming and a bit mundane and certainly painful, it may even be a waste of time aesthetically, but I'm curious, disciplined and determined to see what happens after 6 weeks of this.
Let me share some brief results with you. Result number 1: They get easier to do. 2. You feel them. 3. Don't actually do them EVERY DAY, I learned that after 4 days straight of trying to do 2k a day. 4. Your rectus abdominus aka the six pack, will get harder and stronger, and as big as they will get. 5. Prepare yourself for some gastro-intestinal changes. No details, just keep in mind what curling your trunk entails. Finally stretch you abs after every set. If you are going to do 10 sets 200, or 200 sets of 10, stretch them babies out. You will feel the difference.
And now a word or two(thousand)... about Destiny. Although I no longer believe in this mystical concept, I still use it the same way I use God to bless people when they sneeze... it's just a habit.
One could say that a random encounter with a newspaper publisher for whom I once wrote led to the eviction of tea from my daily routine.
Briefly - I run into the publisher of a neighborhood newspaper, we catch up, I tell him about my fitness training, he tells me about his daughter's massage therapy. His daughter appears on the porch just as we're mentioning her. we are introduced, turns out we work in the same fitness compound. We exchange contact info and sure enough the next day I se her at the gym promoting her service. we chat I make an appointment.
I get my massage, which was very good, although I only have ONE other massage to compare it with. Being a fitness trainer has gotten me better acquainted with my body; learning the names of the muscles, etc. so as I'm relaxing I'm actually feeling what's going on and making mental notes to ask about at the end of the session.
Massaging my lower legs, just below the calf and above the hurt, not enough to ask her to stop, but certainly it was a point of concern. These are the areas that cramp up when I run long distances and wake me up at night when they cramp up. The left leg is especially troubling. Here's what she told me.
My fascia (imagine the rubber that protects the cable) around the muscle fibers in my lower leg(s) were dried out. She told me they felt like chips crinkling in her hands. (At least that's how I remember her putting it.) In short this area wasn't getting enough circulation, blood I figured, and certainly not enough water, (which blood if full of.)
I went into nerd mode and searched possible causes for poor circulation in the legs. After dismissing all the prescription "cures" and their myriad side effects, I found what I was looking for. Poor blood circulation and dehydration can be caused by caffeine and sugar, which happen to be two of my most profound addictions, which you probably know already from having read my "Addictions" essay.
So tea had to go. Cold turkey, which is how I'd recommend anyone to kick a habit.
It was probably Wednesday, March 4, 2009 that I had my last cup of tea. Thursday I taught two classes and I felt my lack of energy. By Friday I had a withdraw headache. Saturday it was still there. Late Sunday it seemed to pass. I didn't take any aspirin for it, just some herbs (and not THAT kind of herbs either). The problem was, just like a lover you may have broken up with that you really didn't want to, I kept having ghost images of drinking tea. I'd being surfing and writing and thinking, "I'd be having a cup of tea right now." I'd look at the tea cup my daughter brought me back from Disney World and want to fill it up with tea and sugar. Sometimes at work I'd go through 32 to 50 ounces of tea per night.
At first I was only thinking of getting through to Sunday. I'd heard some place that the first three days are the toughest when kicking habits. Then as Sunday passed, I decided i might as well go for 30 days, like the Super Size Me guy on TV. Then, another massage, see if she notices any difference. Some more running, see if i notice any difference and then perhaps joint the ranks of the decaf tea tot'lers or limit my caffeinated tea drinking to one a day.
Meanwhile, my beverage alternatives have been water, more water, the occasional orange juice and protein shakes, with water or OJ.
The early results are too early to evaluate. My scale supposedly measures body fat, but it does a better job of measuring weight and H2O content, which I record on a daily basis (nerd/scientist alert), and I have noticed my H2O measurements are higher and a bit more consistent.
Of course there's a possibility that I might be wrong about all this dehydration, circulation, sugar-caffeine connection stuff and I may have what doctors call "PCIL" (poor circulation in legs) and I'll have to be on Plavix, of Zytnyte, Xanficore, or some such drug I'll have to learn about in an multi-page ad in Golf Digest whose disclaimer reads "symptoms may persist" (translation - the drug doesn't work on the problem) side effects may include gaseous emissions from the rectal cavity, suicidal feelings, erratic erectile episodes, insomnia and could be addictive.
For now, I think I'll drink more water, no tea and see what happens.
And this, my friends is why my status updates can be summed up in shut-out terminology; Crunches 2000 Tea Zero!
Thank you for your concern.
